don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
