My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
