OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
