Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
