Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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