in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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