apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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