i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
