My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
