I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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