Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
40s are totally the cure
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
