Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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