Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
