My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
