Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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