"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The feeling are messing with the penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
