we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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