I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like eating out sand paper
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
