It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
