nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
