I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
