5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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