Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
