Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
