hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
