Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
