so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
