He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
