You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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