can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
