i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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