the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just high enough for therapy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
