I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
