is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im holly from the hills drunk
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
