i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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