It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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