No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
