Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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