she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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