So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
