why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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