why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
