Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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