And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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