I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
