I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
