Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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