Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
