so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
