She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
