can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
