Too much gin, very little bucket
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize