We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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