i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
